Opportunities and Openings

It has been a while since I posted and quite a lot has happened to Amanda.

The LBGTQ+ Scene on the Island is expanding all the time. The group I have joined welcomes all and has now passed 200 signed up members. Regular meetings are held in Art Centres, posh hotels, Wine Bars and pubs. These venues are dedicated safe places to meet up with like-minded company. Many people feel safer in these areas but a lot of us do meet and mix openly on the Island with no issues.

Amanda has helped in promoting LBGTQ+ island-based supportive goods, services and companies etc. from a personal approach and perspective. Christiane would be on the list if she were on the Island!

So far I have networked with Hair – Wig Salons, Beauty Salons, Dress Agencies, Charity Shops and Designer Boutiques. Also, Boots Beauty Counter girls have been very helpful in offering make up tips, advice, makeovers etc. All of the owners, managers, staff, etc. have been very enthusiastic. I have written up and posted about them and all now have a section, slot on our website. Some are now actively displaying slogans and stickers in their windows and several have even offered exclusive shopping evenings for the trans community, along with special events and promotions. These are great for those just coming out or wanting help and advice.

A spin off for me has been invites to events, promotions and drinks parties. What more could a girl want? Another even bigger spin off for me personally was a job offer en femme at a local Dress Agency which I regularly use. I have chatted a lot with the Manager over the past year and she said that I have good communication skills, love fashion and clothing, have an eye for detail and would really blend in. Must be the ex teacher in me! All of her team love talking to me about my story. Would I be interested? I was lost for words. What an opportunity for me in the real world. A dream come true, acceptance. Would I go away, talk to my wife and think about it? I did! What a confidence booster!

After some thought I decided that whilst I did not want to commit to regular work as I’m retired, I would be very happy to offer cover if short staffed, sickness, holidays etc. I even got an invite to their Christmas drinks party and was instructed to glam up for the evening! Did I need any encouragement? No!

Another first for me since moving to the Island is using the ferries en femme to get back to the mainland to meet my sister for lunch and for shopping in Lymington or in Chichester where she lives. Clare has been a great supporter of Amanda for many years. I also love engaging with fellow passengers as Amanda. Again, some great conversations have been had. Quality girl time with your sister. What could be better? Travelling en femme feels so natural and normal. People are very complimentary if I open up to them or just don’t bat an eyelid! The new normal.

There is still a lot in the media about children and young people questioning their sexuality and gender. A huge number are now are on waiting and referral lists for professional help. It is on the Government’s agenda and talked about on the Island. Schools are often in the forefront of this debate. The group I’m involved in is exploring if and how we could possibly get involved. As an ex teacher, parent and being myself high on the transgender spectrum this is an issue very close to me. Last September I went to a fundraising event for young people on the LBGTQ+ spectrum and made contact with the group. This is all work in progress. Who knows where it might go?

I still, after many years get told I am so brave to come out and present en femme and be my true self. It feels so right, comfortable and natural. I do fully understand and appreciate for many it is very difficult or even impossible to come out to partners, family, friends. I am so blessed to have supportive family and friends. I want to encourage you to love and embrace yourself wherever you are on the TG spectrum and to find inner peace within yourself. My own journey of exploration is still continuing.

As I have previously stated I am still moving around Clapham Junction (see not black or white but shades of grey). Is Waterloo reality or a dream?

Finally, what made you read my blog? What made you connect with Christiane? Where are you on your quest for the real you? For years I have wanted to give something back and I hope that my blogs are helpful to you. You are not alone, there are lots of like-minded people out there. There is also help available. Talk to Christiane, start your journey with her. You will not regret it. The world is your oyster. Step out and embrace it. Years ago I stepped out and have never looked back! What’s stopping you? Start embracing 2024 with the real you!

 

 

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I Am What I Am!

Some words of encouragement!

It has been a while since I last posted an update on my journey. Amanda is still a very big part of me. As previously stated I’m still “around Clapham Junction heading towards Waterloo” and not sure how or when I might get there, if ever! I am though at peace with who and where I am on the transgender spectrum.

Since moving I have met a lot of interesting and like minded people, with different tales to tell. A full cross section of the population and all are at different stages and points on the TG spectrum and their journeys.

I love talking to people and supporting them. I’m constantly reminded that I am so fortunate to have such a supportive partner and family who have been with me on this journey. Linda allows me total freedom to be Amanda whenever I like. For many this is just an impossible dream!

Beauticians and beauty treatments are important to me. I feel very relaxed when under going beauty treatments and it feels totally natural to have feminising treatments. I now have three beauty salons who between them fully support me on my journey. All the beauticians are seeing more and more transgender clients. I have had some lovely chats with the girls and been asked to add postings to their web sites to encourage transgender clients. Some now have LGBT logos on their website, like Christiane and stickers in their windows. Help is out there to achieve your feminine face and body.

It’s not easy to come out, to accept yourself and ask for help, but taking the initial step really is easier than you think. I’ve been there! There is a lot of support! Christiane is a great example and advocate. Her make up skills and knowledge will really raise the game for you. It did for me. Again, I realise that without a supportive partner, family etc. some beauty treatments may not be possible.

Your beautician will be aware and very supportive of your needs, goals, objectives etc. and how far you want to and can go. I love and can go all the way! Regular brow defining, tinting, body waxing, nail extensions, toe nails painted, lash tint – lift and lashes done for special occasions. Previously I have had laser treatment on my face and neck. All dark hairs gone!

Clothing is another area where support is out there. Moving away from Surrey required a fresh start with shopping for Amanda. I have had only positive results when buying female clothing. Boutiques, M&S, Dress Agencies and Charity Shops are all on my radar. Many lovely chats with owners, managers etc. All very encouraging and supportive.

New friendships have been formed in quite a short amount of time. Amanda has been invited to open evenings, brand launches and drinks parties. I love these events being fully en femme and accepted. Again, some amazing conversations with other clients, customers etc. I can be the real me! Business Cards are being printed for me to promote a Dress Agency with the TG Scene meetings I go to. One shop I regularly use has offered to put on an exclusive special evening shopping event for the TG Community with wine and nibbles.

Support groups are opening up again after Covid. Online and physical groups are a good starting point. Find these groups. Support these groups. These groups are for you! You will not be alone on your journey of discovery. A new life and world awaits you. You are what you are!

Don’t fight but embrace your feminine feelings and desires. I found this to be so true when I had transgender counselling. Through counselling the real me came out! It was quite a journey, something I should have undertaken years ago but put off. The fear of going into the unknown and where it all might lead. The opposite result shone through. It reaffirmed who I was.

The internet is an amazing place! You’re reading this story – a coincidence? Are you exploring yourself? Going on a journey? I find reading other peoples blogs, accounts, stories very encouraging and uplifting. We are all on a similar journey on the TG Spectrum. We are all very
similar in the tales we can tell. The TG world is growing all the time and becoming far more mainstream and accepted. There is so much more support and help available now.

The news, media today is full of trans stories and issues. Wherever you are, don’t suppress your deep down thoughts and feelings to present and be accepted as female. Accept who and what you are and embrace your new self. You will feel so much better for it. Step out, enjoy and embrace your feminine side.

Love yourself for who and what you are! Be proud of yourself !

 

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A Fresh Start!

Out on an Island! A Fresh Start!

It’s been quite a challenging couple of years for many post Covid. I for one found lockdown restrictions challenging. Amanda likes nothing more than going out, meeting and socialising en femme. Covid made my wife and I rethink life and what is important. We decided to relocate and move 50 miles away from our Surrey home of 40 years to the Isle of Wight. Over those years Amanda had built up a large contact base in the TG Community. How would I cope, find friends, support etc. starting from scratch? Well things proved easier than I had imagined.

 

My first need was to find a TG friendly beautician who could support me on my journey. The internet proved invaluable.

I contacted several local salons and all responded positively that they would love to help me on my journey. Amanda loves beauty treatments, lash lifts, lash extensions, brow wax and tints, nail extensions, I love them all! Totally natural. If full time I would be a very high maintenance woman. Well, one year in and I’ve been supported by a lovely local team. I was asked by them to write about myself on their Transgender Awareness Week Blog. I received great feed back and comments from their clients and social media followers.

Next was a shopping trip out en femme to a local Health Food Shop to get eco refills for domestic cleaning products. In their window was a series of mini articles about self esteem, loving yourself, self perception, finding inner peace, accepting who you are; Wow this hit a chord with me! I read the articles over and over and entered the shop. The shop was quiet and I had an amazing chat with the owner and one of her staff. Sarah, the owner also offered alternate therapy medical treatments and counselling and her colleague / friend Jamie was a mature student who was about to write an article about being transgender in the community as part of her course. Well the rest is history!

Numerous chats, emails, meetings. I was able to give help with resources to assist Jamie. She knew nobody to ask, I just turned up! Was this coincidence? A pure chance meeting! Right place at the right time? Well, Jaime was awarded a 1st for her transgender article. Two new friends, links and connections for me.

Wigs and hair was next on my radar, as all my wigs needed treatment after two years of only being washed and styled at home. I contacted several local hair salons but drew a blank! All said wigs needed specialist cutting ,styling and ruined scissors! In Surrey there were 3 salons within 15 miles of home! I managed to find three on the mainland but none on the island. I extended my search and eventually struck lucky, with a salon that helped the NHS with cancer patients who needed wigs, hair pieces and extensions. Again the owner was incredibly helpful and supportive. The end result, my old hair rejuvenated and the purchase of a new wig for a fresh start. Again the salon is going to open up to the TG Community on their web site. More new friends and contacts!

Dress Agencies and Boutiques next – there was no stopping Amanda!  My female wardrobe is now bigger than my male one. Again nothing but 100% support and help. Things are looking up.

 

This now gets me nicely round to my article title. This summer there are various Pride Events on the Island which I’m going to support and participate in. I’m already planning beauty treatments, costumes etc. Linked in with this is a newly published book Out on an Island. It’s a fascinating LGBTQ+ book launched a few weeks ago. I have a signed copy from the book launch. It’s got a lot of me and I’m sure of you in it too. If I had moved earlier this was a project which I would have loved to become involved in.

Through my new friends, contacts, links etc. I’ve also been challenged to consider setting up some sort of Transgender Support Group. I’m currently exploring options, ideas.

The aim of my posts is to give positive encouragement to all of you who are somewhere on the transgender spectrum, journey. I know the journey is far from easy but help is out there if you ask. I love reading client testimonials posted by Christiane. I love her phrase “You don’t need to ask here.” I also know it takes courage and nerves to make the initial move. She is there to help all those who are somewhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum.

The Times recently ran an interesting article. Children in schools are taught that sex is assigned at birth by a doctor, but that gender can be assigned on a sliding scale. I know that I’m very high on the spectrum. I’ve been consistently around 76% female on tests, interviews etc. The big question, male, female, both, neither…

My journey has only slightly moved on from Clapham Junction. I’m not at Waterloo yet but I’m at peace and happy as Amanda. Who knows what’s next? The future is exciting!

 

 

 

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Book Reviews – What’s helped me!

I have read lots of books, publications, documents during my on going journey of discovering the real me. Many have been useful in helping to try to explain what makes me tick, why am I like this etc.

Christiane has listed some good reads on her TG web page and I thought I would say a little more about some that have helped me.

 

He or She by Vicky Lee

I have personally found this book invaluable on my journey. Originally printed in 2006 but still useful and informative today. There is a huge amount of “me” in the book and I’m sure if you read it you will find your journey and story somewhere in there too.

Very well researched, presented and written, Vicky has a wealth of knowledge and experience in the transgender world spanning many years. She runs the Way out Club in London and Way out Publishing, a specialist TG publisher.

He or She is very easy to read and a real eye opener! Lots of photographs and real life stories from across the spectrum. The book covers many areas and facets from casual cross dressing to full gender reassignment and everything in between!

It is broken down into sub sections.

  • Why do we cross dress?
  • How to achieve a realistic female image, shape wear and outer clothing.
  • Wigs, hair, makeup, deportment etc.
  • Legal issues, the work place, relationships, coping in the real world, psychological, physiological, medical issues and much more.

From the first timer to the more experienced, through to those considering hormones and surgery. Lots of helpful tips and advice.

I have purchased several copies over the years and loaned or given them away to those I’ve met: those just starting on their journey; HR department store managers; TG support Groups; Beauticians etc.

Everybody who has read the book has been fascinated, impressed, challenged, helped. Eyes have been opened, questions answered, anxieties, worries etc aired in a very positive way.

I’ve read He or She numerous times and although I have never met Vicky face to face we have spoken and emailed each other in the past. I was delighted  to be asked to write a review for the publication in a Transgender Magazine! Even to this day I still can’t put it down. It’s a great book to just dip into!

Pearls of Asia by Lee Geiger

This book is a romantic detective murder mystery featuring a transgender twist published in 2014 and set in San Francisco. It is an irresistible and fun story featuring five fictional transgender women. Each with a compelling unique story to tell.

The main theme is a thought provoking romance between a pre- operative transexual woman and a heterosexual male detective. Lots of twists and turns. A fun read, hard to put down once started!

Alice in Genderland by Richard J Novic, MD

This book is a fantastic true story read. It is the account of a Harvard educated psychiatrist cross dresser in search of himself, herself and the truth that makes him, her tick!

Alice in Genderland is a fascinating read. Richard, Alice runs a medical practice, is married and has a family.

It is a fascinating, gripping account of his, her life over many years. The highs and the lows, with no stone left unturned. There is lots of medical research, medical journals, papers, articles, references etc relating to TG issues from a psychiatrists point of view. I’ve looked at some of them with my medical counsellor.

Alice is well known and respected in her native America. She has written widely, appeared on TV, conferences, conventions and media.

I found her story very much like my own. We have a lot in common! Her book is very helpful and inspiring. Truly gripping, thought provoking, challenging, hard to put down. We are all on a journey and at different stages along the road. We all though have many common threads to our journeys!

I hope you enjoy these reads. All have been a great help to me!

 

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Laser Hair Removal – Hair Today! Gone Tomorrow!

I can still remember my first time out fully dressed as Amanda. A party I will never forget!

Jenny and Sue instructed me to remove my body hair to look as convincing as possible. Hair removing cream and a razor and shaving foam did the job. It took ages! A first!

I can still remember them dressing me up, putting on a bra, women’s pants, tights, an under slip and then a skirt and blouse. It all felt amazing against my smooth skin! Then full make up. Moving around, getting into a car, looking at my legs in amazement, going into the pub and then the party.

Deep physical and mental feelings. I felt amazing but also felt very vulnerable. I was totally unrecognisable! Dancing at the party in a skirt felt totally natural. Friends commented in a very positive way. Many said I had a huge amount of bottle to go out fully en femme. Little did I know my life was never going to be the same!

Roll on a few years and another party. I was married then. Again total hair removal, creams and razor. Stockings this time. Another set of deep feelings and emotions. This time no going back!

Amanda was out! If you have read my previous blogs you will know that a lot of talking – heart ache and tears occurred. It was not an easy time with my wife but, we talked and gradually worked things through. She suggested I see beauticians and start on regular beauty treatments . She could see how much Amanda was me. If I wanted to go out I must look as convincing as possible. She was worried for me. I approached a local beautician and she was great. Full waxing, getting an Epi Lady, eyebrows waxed, threaded, tinted! I just loved the whole experience. It felt totally natural. This was now part of my feminine beauty regime.

Moving on again. Amanda wanted a more permanent solution. She was spending more and more time en femme. We had a guest speaker at the transgender support group I go to (Surrey Swans) who did transgender laser hair removal. This could be a solution. I did a lot of research and visited several local companies, salons who could possibly help. All were very open and supportive. Many men now like permanent hair removal.

Well, I have now started on my first stage of laser hair removal. I went in male mode for a free consultation and appraisal. Would it work for me? What results were possible?

It’s not a cheap option and only works on dark not light hair. I decided it was worth pursuing. I’ve opted for full face, beard, neck line and each session takes about an hour and I go every six weeks. What’s it like? It depends on ones pain thresh hold. The lip area for me is very sensitive, other areas less so. What are the results to date? Well a lot of hair has gone. About 70% to date! I can go out all day en femme with a lot more confidence without imagining my beard shadow comes through early evening. I can wear less make up and concealer.

It has raised other issues though. If I was on female hormones my maleness would be suppressed more and the results quicker and greater. This raises an issue when one is married or in a relationship. It would suppress ones sex drive, skin would soften, fat would be redistributed and breasts develop! My totally supportive wife would be even more effected. I would not be the man she married! Our relationship would change. It would raise issues with her. She says she would stay with me on the journey wherever it goes but would she become a lesbian in our relationship? We have talked at length about these side effects. Her medical background helps enormously! If Amanda fully transitioned and had surgery our life together would radically change. Clapham is still my station.

A lot more thought, planning, talking is needed. An ongoing chapter of Amanda’s journey! Not sure where it’s all going or the end destination! It’s so much nicer being in a grey area even if it is dark grey!

 

 

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A 1-2-1 Make Up Master Class with Christiane

Hopefully you will have seen from previous articles Amanda is still work in progress. Make up has been vital to this.

Over the years my wife has been very supportive and critical about how I present my female persona. I want to present as a natural woman and blend in without attracting undue attention.

Over the years I have been very fortunate to have had lots of help from many female friends in the beauty business. I have visited shops and department stores to get help and advice. One of the most difficult areas is getting the correct foundation to look natural. For many years I have used Estee Lauder Double Wear, Clinique and Benefit products to give a good base. These foundation products are used a lot in the TG world. How to apply these products, tools and tricks of the trade take a lot of learning and practice! Books, You Tube etc have been a great help! I love the glamour side of creating a well-groomed look.

Where is all this going? Well, it all leads to Christiane and her make up artistry. I found her web site by chance. We emailed each other, I exchanged some of my blogs and the rest is history!

Who is the real Christiane, what is she like? I knew she was at the top of the tree by the awards, accolades and achievements she has posted on her site. The pictures, articles etc. tell it all. Real talent!

Amanda soon booked in for a 1-2-1 with Christiane in her lovely home studio. I was going out for the evening to meet up with some friends in a classy country pub and wanted an evening look. I was warmly greeted at the door and taken into her very well-equipped professional studio.

“Like a drink? Tea, coffee?” Yes please!

We started to chat. Christiane is very approachable.”Let’s start” she said handing me some make up removal pads and Micellar Water. “You look great but we need to start from scratch.”

 

Christiane has a huge selection of beauty products covering all the major brands, some of which I have never come across. She does not have brand loyalty but selects carefully the best products for the client. She has a massive product range. We started from basics including cleansing, moisturising, to primers and foundation. We covered techniques, brushes and some great tips!

With me Christiane started with my eyes and primer, then eye shadows and finishing with lashes and mascara. We covered brow shaping and contouring to give a lovely shape. My brows are regularly shaped using waxing, tinting and threading!

Next came the face, primer, foundation etc. covering topics from contouring, shaping, blusher, bronzers, highlighting etc all clearly shown, demonstrated and expertly taught. Nothing was too much trouble! She is a great teacher! Very patient and understanding. Clear to follow and understand advice and instructions.

Lastly we covered lips, something that I don’t find easy, but again her expert tips helped greatly. All through the demonstration – lesson or to me a “master class” I could clearly see every stage with the aid of a large mirror.

Time flew by! Conversation passed! What an experience! So much was covered! The end result was a stunning look. The real me! WOW! I felt a million dollars!

For those of you who are apprehensive about getting help and advice don’t think twice! Christiane has her studio at home. She is super aware of TG issues and problems and would love to help those on a journey like me. It does not matter where you are on the TG spectrum, she is there to help.

There was also a lot to take in and remember! Christiane produces an individual written plan – revision sheet of every topic covered, products used and some useful reminders. Great for cognitive overload! She also took pictures on her phone and mine. Great visual reminder of the session.

A 1-2 1 is a must have, must do! I’m still no expert and have so much still to learn but, with help and advice from Christiane I am now so much better equipped and qualified with my makeup knowledge, technique and skills.

My confidence has grown so much! She has raised goals! Go on treat yourself. You know you deserve it! You will learn so much! You will love it!

 

 

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Not Black or White, but Shades of Grey.

Moving on and moving forward, Amanda is still work in progress. It’s been a long journey over many years. She is evolving and developing all the time!

For years I have been a black or white person and have been wondering what makes me tick?

  • Why was I born like this?
  • Where is this all going?
  • Is there an end to the journey?
  • What is the end result?
  • Why is my brain wired like this?
  • Why do I get these intense feminine feelings?
  • Why am I so at ease and comfortable as Amanda?
  • Why do I want to be Amanda more and more?
  • Why do feminine beauty treatments feel so natural to me?
  • Do I want to fully transition? Some difficult thoughts and questions. No easy answers!

Some years ago I regularly went to a transgender group called Fabuliss which was based in Liphook Hampshire. It was run by a lovely married husband and wife team. The husband embraced his female side with his incredibly supportive wife. Social events were organised on a monthly basis with regular guest speakers, make up beauty demonstrations, mannerisms, deportment lessons and pageants! One could really embrace ones female side. It was a great place to be and meet up with others on the TG spectrum. Its sad end came when the wife died after a long illness. A great loss to all.

So where is all this going? Well, one event was run by a TG councillor who worked for Hampshire NHS Trust based in Portsmouth. She offered help and counselling on the NHS. I had a long chat with her at one of the meetings and made an appointment to meet up professionally and discuss Amanda. I attended four sessions that helped me come to more of an understanding about what made me tick. It also though presented some interesting data. On some psychological tests I came up as 74% female. That explained a lot! This was a few years ago and over time Amanda was becoming more and more important.

My wife wanted me to seek professional help and explore Amanda more. How would I find the right person? Well the internet came up trumps! Independently, we both googled Psychologists specialising in TG clients based within a radius of where we live. We also decided I would pay and go privately. There were 5 possible people on the search list. My wife has a medical background being a GP Practise Nurse. We both independently read up their CV’s and chatted about our listings. “Amanda,” she said, “Who do you think ticks the boxes for you?” I gave her the name. “That’s amazing,” she said. “Your number one is my number one!” Well, that answered my question. I exchanged emails with my first choice and got an appointment for a consultation two weeks later.

“You will be coming as Amanda” she asked? “Yes” I said! Well, two weeks rushed by. I was very apprehensive but knew it was the right move. I spent the morning getting dressed. Nail extensions on, full make up, Dior perfume, the full works. A dress, jacket and high heels complemented the look! I wanted her to see I was serious about Amanda. I arrived early for the appointment and knocked on her door. “Come in Amanda. Wow you look great, you are very convincing and confident!” I was instantly at ease with her. She had a lovely smile. I instantly warmed to her. We talked for over an hour. Time flew by.

“Well,” she said, “We can go on this journey together if you are comfortable opening up to me? You need to be totally open and honest with me. There may be some difficult and challenging questions and answers. We will dig deep! Are you committed?” she asked. “Do you want time to think about it?”

“No,” I said instantly. I was ready to proceed with a professional counselling course. A date was booked for the following week. I was asked to keep a diary and write up comments, observations etc after each session. Initially we met up weekly for the first few months. We then dropped to alternate weeks, then every three and then monthly. Now it’s when I need help we meet, talk, discuss, explore. We covered some ground! My note book filled up fast. When I got home I was exhausted. My brain ached! So much going on, so much to think about. Every week I was given homework to do, articles to read, internet research, books, magazine, journals etc. We discussed media postings, films, documentaries, radio programmes etc. Most weeks TG issues appear in the media.

When I got home my wife always asked me do you want to talk and discuss what went on? Most times the answer was yes over a cup of tea or glass of wine. I was taught how to cope with my TG side. To embrace and not fight it. My Psychologist got me to see life not as black or white but shades of grey. This is a much more comfortable place to be than black and white. She described my journey as a train ride. Imagine the Portsmouth to London railway. I’m now at Clapham Junction heading towards Waterloo. I’ve been at Clapham now for quite a few months. There are still more questions than answers but I am now in a much more comfortable place. At greater peace with my mind and body than I’ve been for years. Where do I go from Clapham? When will I leave Clapham ? Do I ever leave Clapham? Is Waterloo my end stop? What happens when I get there? The journey goes on! A massive grey area! Dark grey!

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To be continued …

 

We’ll update Amanda’s blog as she shares new chapters with us.

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So where is this all going? What has been achieved?

It’s taken me many years to accept myself. I’m really fortunate to have a wife who is very supportive and understanding and who has helped Amanda develop. We have spent many hours talking and discussing Amanda. It’s not been an easy journey but we have talked and talked and been totally open and honest with each other. I’m sure her medical background has helped enormously and during her career she has seen patients across the whole transgender spectrum. Her only request now is that when I go out I look as ‘passable’ and feminine as possible. To date I have had no surgery or hormones, but do enjoy regular beauty treatments including full body waxing and eyebrow shaping. I have pierced ears and get regular nail and eyelash extensions. I have a beautician friend whom I have known for years and she is very supportive and understanding of my needs, feelings and requirements. Most weeks I’m fortunate to spend one to two days fully en-femme and I regularly take mini breaks of up to a week, fully ‘dressed.’ I realise I’m so lucky to have this support, help and understanding.

So where is this all going? What has been achieved?

I’ve been speaking to personnel departments in local shops and companies on transgender issues and policies, including how their staff act and perceive us. Through local department stores, I’ve liaised between the shop floor staff, managers and company bosses about staff, products and TG needs and issues. This has often come about when I have been approached by women personnel managers in local stores and shops. Was I happy to give an interview? Was I a genetic female? Was I TG? Did I mind being asked questions? Was this an imposition? This did make me realise that I had perhaps been ‘read’ but I did want to help and so was more than happy to be interviewed.

On each occasion I have been asked to answer questions and talk about transgender shopping, TG issues and concerns and how their staff approached and served TG girls. This was done through interviews in their offices, telephone conversations and regular e-mail updates. I’ve even lent out my copy of ‘He or She’ by Vicky Lee on extended loan. Everyone who has read it says it should be compulsory reading and is very enlightening and informative.

All large shops have transgender policies and want to get things right and correct when dealing with us. All have said I was very confident and convincing. Some asked was I full-time? Have I had surgery?And some even thought I was a genetic female – What a compliment! All I have spoke to say the TG scene is now mainstream, there are loads of us out there! The more informed they are, the more they can help us realize our dreams.

This has opened up many doors and invitations for Amanda to attend. For example police forces have departments and policies regarding transgender issues. I was first approached by a young woman in plain clothes who said she was a police officer working on TG, gay and lesbian issues and hate crimes. She showed me her warrant card and again we just started talking. She wondered if I had ever had any dealings with the police when dressed?  The answer was yes, (as I’m sure many of us have) twice, while out driving. On both occasions, male officers stopped me on spot-check road blocks. Questions were asked, details checked and I was off. Both times the officers were very courteous, pleasant and polite. Both wished me a good evening and told me to keep safe and enjoy myself. Following on from this, I have again exchanged emails and met up and talked with the Police Liaison Officer. I’m so pleased that these links have been really good at helping me promote the TG Community.

None of this would have occurred or even been considered a few years ago. I now have the confidence to go out as Amanda and give help and advice to to others and to encourage those just starting their journey. What about future plans and ideas? I’m exploring TG counselling courses. Again, I feel I could give a lot back after after my journey of exploration and discovery. Also, I can’t wait to have more time to spend fully en-femme. Who knows where I might end up! How far will Amanda go? It’s so exciting!

The whole transgender scene has come on hugely over the last few years. The internet, media, books and publications, the Beaumont Society have all helped play a massive part in this change and move. Publications such as Repartee and Transliving have been inspirational. Cross-dressing and the TG scene are far more open today and mainstream. I’m meeting more and more people, employers, companies, workers etc. who will back this statement up. Ask the lingerie departments, the personal shoppers in the large department stores, the small boutique owners. You really are not alone out there!

Finally, what would my advice be to others? As I’ve said before, be open and honest with everyone you meet. I know it’s especially hard with ones’ partner and those closest to us. I know this is not easy; it can cause a lot of friction and be a complete minefield. But ask for help if need be. Join a local support group, perhaps even get some counselling. Above all enjoy yourself and get out in to the ‘real world.’ It’s great fun out there. Life is a massive adventure! Embrace it! You won’t regret it!

 

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