Archive for category: Amanda’s Transgender Journey

Lingerie and especially bras are an important part of any woman’s wardrobe and even more so for us TG girls. Different looks, moods, images and feelings can be created with these most sensuous of garments. For most T-girls the creation of breasts and a cleavage are very important.

Since writing in issue 54 of Repartee my TG life has really taken off. I’m lucky to be Amanda one to two days a week and sometimes longer if circumstances allow. For years I have used tear-drop shaped silicone inserts, but I wanted more realism and different shapes for varying outfits and styles. My silicones have been fixed using double-sided tape or medical adhesive. I did not want anything permanent, (one can dream!) but needed a new look. I’m lucky that I have natural breast tissue. Lots of internet research followed and lots of ideas. I needed help! For years I have used good old M&S but I decided to look around. I phoned up my local La Senza shop and told them what I wanted to achieve. “Come in ‘dressed’ we would love to help you” they said. An offer Amanda could not refuse.

The La Senza girls were brilliant. Laura rose to the challenge. Using a gel-filled bra with silicone ‘chicken fillets’ and with help from breast tape, she helped me create a very realistic cleavage.  I was amazed at the natural-looking result. Looking down, natural breast tissue filled my new bra. What a look! What a feeling!

Amanda, though, still wanted more. She is a perfectionist. I decided to contact two local independent specialist lingerie shops, found in my local Yellow Pages. I phoned the shops and spoke to the owners. I explained I was a T-girl. No problems, no issues, yes, we can help you achieve a realistic cleavage and yes, you are not alone. We have other TG clients. Yes, we have lots of products. Come in ‘dressed’ and let’s see what we can do. Appointments were quickly made. I could not wait!

Zoe came up with a Nu Bra Gel. Not cheap, but what a result! It can be worn on its own or under another bra. Its sticky back pulls and holds the breast flesh in place. Great for low-cut tops or backless dresses. She has several TG customers and was really keen to help and advise. I believe Leah True used one, or something very similar, on her Mr Miss World adventure on TV Channel 4 and You Tube.

Helen owns the other lingerie shop. Again, I phoned her and booked an appointment. She was most helpful and knowledgeable. She had several catalogues and brochures to show me and lots of ideas. Again, I was amazed to learn that real girls regularly change the shape of their breasts to create new looks. She recommended a mixture of silicone inserts, tape, up-lifters and side-lifters. These are shaped inserts which fit in to the bra and can be attached to the bra or breast using special double-sided tape. Again she helped me shape myself. Lots of looks could be achieved. I could not believe the results.

I have since been very fortunate to meet a fantastic lady called Geraldine Hurd who runs a lingerie business for genetic women and TG’s. Both myself and my friends have purchased from her, so I can highly recommend her business, Hour Glass Figure, with confidence.

I now have all I need to mix and match. A really realistic cleavage can easily be created. Every TG dreams of ‘passing’. Correct bras are very important to get the right look, along with the cleavage, makeup and powder. Money has to be invested, but I love the results. The look and feel is so natural. Several real-girl friends thought I was on hormones or had implants! Such compliments! The pictures of Amanda out and about tell the tale. So don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Bridal Adventures

Amanda has been dressing for years and is gradually going further in her TG lifestyle. She regularly spends one to two days a week fully dressed and most holidays spending several days living 24/7. She is very lucky to have a very supportive wife and a brilliant beautician friend Jude who helps achieve a feminine body. Amanda regularly has nail and eyelash extensions done, full body waxing and eye brows shaped and tinted. Her ears were pierced years ago! Well, where is all this going? For over a year now Amanda has wanted a bridal dress to wear to a TG weekend run at a South Coast venue. Where does one start? How do you get help? Who could help? What styles would suit me? Let the story start! Firstly I contacted two local Bridal Shops and explained I was serious about dressing as a bride. I previously had sent them copies of articles I have had published in Repartee No 49, 61, 68, and 76. I also gave them photographs of me out and about. Would it be a problem helping me achieve my dreams? The answer came back no if I was serious and booked an appointment. I very quickly arranged appointments and the adventure started. I spent ages getting ready for the appointments. Everything needed to be perfect! With trepidation I arrived on time for my first appointment. Jane the owner could not have been more welcoming. She was fascinated by my journey and how I achieved my female persona and body shaping. I was told Amanda was very convincing! We talked for ages discussing my dream look. Out came a selection of dresses. Wow! I could not wait to get into to them. Jane also suggested a laced corset back was the best option. Well she said, you had better get undressed, I will help you get into them. My heart was pounding! I was in heaven! Deep inner feelings were triggered off. Jane helped me into the first dress. I felt and looked amazing. It seemed to take ages to get the lacing done up. She let me borrow some bridal shoes. Amanda, you look amazing, turn round and walk over to the mirror. I could not believe what I saw in the reflection. It felt so natural! We talked like girls all the time, I was so excited, more dresses to try on and results to see. Altogether I tried on six dresses. This was going to be an expensive day.

The dresses ranged from £800-£1500 and accessories and extras needed. Underskirts, shoes, bridal underwear, jewellery, the list goes on. We had a lovely time together. Amanda, I can see you are very serious about you female side Jane said. It has been a pleasure helping you but, have you thought about buying secondhand? You can get dresses altered. I can help with that side. You now know what suits you and a size 16 is a good fit. I have loved having you in my shop. It’s been a real pleasure getting to know you. Well I went away on cloud 9. The following week I went to my second appointment in another bridal shop. This time the owner Sally was just like Jane. She was very interested in the TG scene and I experienced the same experiences as I did with Jane. She was very supportive and enthusiastic. Again, I was in heaven! I had a lot to consider and think about. Was the secondhand route worth considering. Yes was the answer. I turned to the internet and discovered two really great sites (preloved.co.uk and Bride2Bride). Both proved to be a great resource with lots of dresses in my local area. I logged onto these sites regularly and saved possible dresses in a folder. I monitored prices, most dropped over the months and gathered ideas. Was I really ready to move forward? Yes I was! I found three possible dream dresses locally and emailed the advertisers explaining I was transgendered. Would this cause a problem? No came back the answer each time. I duly asked for more pictures and detailed measurements of bust, waist and hips. Both Jane and Sally gave me detailed dimensions to assist me in getting my dream dress. Well, the story continues. My first choice would be my dream come true! I pinged an email off to Sue and said I would love to come and see the dress. She was selling on behalf of her daughter who had emigrated to Australia and wanted the dress sold. Again with trepidation Amanda set off on another adventure fully dressed, feeling and looking the best I could. I found the hose easily, parked my car on the drive, walked up the path and knocked on the large house front door. Within seconds the front door opened. Come in Amanda, WOW you look fab! She gave me a hug and a kiss. Things were looking good. Her husband also warmly greeted me. Well Amanda, come upstairs and see the dress. I hope you like it! It was laid out in her daughter’s old bedroom on the bed. It looked amazing. Would it fit? Would my dreams come true? Well Amanda do you like it? Can I help you get dressed? Yes please I answered. Sue was fascinated in my story and transgendered issues. Do you mind if I see you in your lingerie Sue asked. No I said. Well I undressed and Sue helped me in. You are so brave she said. You do take Amanda so seriously. You look great. I hope the dress fits. I pulled the dress up, Sue laced me in. Wow she said, you look amazing. The fit is really good. She put on the veil and I looked in the mirror. I was lost for words! I walked around the room in heaven, the dress rustling and the long train and veil following me. My bridal dream had come true. This was my dream dress. I changed back into my blue Diva dress and we chatted and packed up the dress into it’s box. Cash was exchanged and I left in a dream that had just come true. The dress had originally cost £1400 and the veil £100. I got the whole package for less than £130. Sue had dropped the price three times over the year. Who said bargains can’t be found and had? If you need TG underwear, shape wear, lingerie or breast forms I can highly recommend a friend Geraldine Herd who runs a company called Hour Glass Figure. She has been involved and is very supportive to the TG community. She has set up this site to specifically help the TG Community. My dream dress just needed a very slight tweak with the back panel. I’m a perfectionist! Again a local dress maker friend helped out with this. She has altered dresses and skirts for me before. The fit now is AMAZING!! A dream has come true!! The story has not ended yet. Amanda is planning to go to a Bridal Event in Bournemouth in September run by Danielle who is well known and respected in the TG scene. Amanda is also aiming to retire this coming year and who knows where this will lead.I can’t wait and will report back hopefully with a part two of my Bridal Adventure.

Bridal Adventures (Part 2) – The Bridal Pageant

As you can see from the pictures, I did enter the Bridal Pageant at the Bournemouth Transgender Weekend. I had a stunning wedding dress and all the accessories.

My beautician friend Jude helped me prepare for the event. She suggested treatments that I would need and a time plan. Things kicked off a week before. A full body wax including everything off was required as I also wanted to use the hot tub and swimming pool. I had just bought a new swimming costume! A few days later followed a spray tan. A first for me. This was then followed by nail and eyelash extensions and my toe nails painted! I felt fantastic and looked amazing.

My very supportive wife was stunned when I came home. You are really going for it she said! It all felt so totally natural. I had planned to live 24/7 en femme for 7 days with her full support. I could not wait for the pageant at the end of the week. I drove to the hotel, parked up, went in and introduced myself. What a weekend it turned out to be. The hotel was not totally TG’s but a mix including other guests. There were about 35 TG’s some with partners, spouses. It was a fantastic event! The pageant, catwalk and interviews took place on Saturday. It was amazing. Such fun! Amanda got down to the last three after a catwalk and interviews and won highly commended. What a confidence boost.

Wearing the dress for most of the day was a real challenge. A ride in the Bentley was the ultimate experience around Bournemouth. I had completed my first pageant with flying colours!

Swimming en femme in the indoor pool felt so natural as did the hot tub. I had a lovely chat with three genetic women in the tub. All thought I was transsexual and was on hormones and had surgery. All thought I had put in a massive effort and had a lot of bottle to do what I had done. We met up again later in the bar and chatted more. What an experience. Out and accepted in the real world. Such fun! The three-day event whizzed by very quickly. It was soon time say good fare well and head home. I managed to keep my lashes and nails on for a couple more days before Jude removed them and I reverted to male mode!

The weekend was a real eye opener. I proved to myself I could live en femme. I had such a ball and did not want it to end. Deep feelings were triggered inside. I knew I would never be the same again! Amanda’s journey reached new levels. There was no going back!

The Beginnings (Part 3 )

After a lot of talking with my wife Amanda became accepted! I started visiting several Dressing Services in Portsmouth, London and Chichester. The most helpful was Jane in Chichester. She ran a hair and beauty salon and understood that I did not want to look like a drag queen but, wanted to present myself as a genetic woman. She was great and took me under her wing. She taught me how to dress convincingly, do my hair and make up, how to present myself in public. She also ran a support group and we regularly went out for day trips and evening events in the real world. I also joined the Beaumont Society and went along to support groups. I soon found out I was not alone on this journey of discovery. So what came next? I started to wear silicone breasts glued to me chest and hip and bottom pads. Concealing my male parts more realistically proved fun and a real challenge. I was involved in technology and have been able to make a latex rubber female anatomical form which is glued in place using Hollister medical adhesive. This looks, feels and makes me function like a woman. It can be worn all day. Even my wife was amazed at the illusion. It’s very convincing and hides everything. Similar devices are available on line. I can now wear a swimming costume, go in a hot tub and the sea and not feel vulnerable or exposed. Buying my first swimming costume was fun! I went to M & S and asked for help. I tried on several and selected a blue fitted controlling costume. It gave me a curvy shape. The sales lady asked if she could see me dressed in the costume. Wow she said! You look amazing! She was convinced I had surgery! No man bits! Correct under clothing is very important. For years I have used Marks and Spencer’s, and local Lingerie shops. Correct measuring and fitting is freely available. Everyone I have met has been very helpful and supportive. Realistic results can be achieved. Make up was my next priority. Luckily I have fair hair and light beard cover. Beauty counters and make overs in High Street stores helped develop my look. I also had my ears pieced as part of my feminisation. I had always loved earrings but, made do with clip ons and magnetic fastenings. Amanda now has a lovely collection! Hair came next. Wigs on line! Not a total success. The internet and some issues with styling, colour and maintenance! Clothing and image are very important to me. Amanda is an educated professional, just like her male counterpart. She likes the smart professional look. I’m lucky to be a size 14-16 and have small feet size 40. Local dress agencies were brilliant. I’ve used them for many years. The women who own them have become friends. Also, local boutiques are more than happy to let you try on clothes. Again always be open and honest. Your money is as good as anyone’s. Amanda has never had a problem using her male credit or debit cards. She now has a full summer and winter wardrobe. So there we have it. It takes me an hour to an hour and a half to become Amanda. Where does she go? Anywhere and everywhere, day and night, weekends and weeks away fully en femme. Any excuse I’m dressed and away. Amanda by now was really taking off! Where to I was very unsure! I needed some therapy and counselling and managed to find an NHS set up in Hampshire through a transgender group called Fabuliss that used to meet in Hampshire, (now not running, a sad loss!) I was very apprehensive about going along but it was a real discovery. After several sessions and some psychological tests I came out with a profile saying I was 76% female. This explains a lot! My brain was wired up in a very feminine way! This led on to a long journey of more searching discovery. Amanda was by now going out en femme as often as possible. Regular beauty treatments in local salons helped in the feminisation process. Eye brows tinted and waxed to a more feminine arch, nail extensions, painted toe nails and finger gel and acrylic extensions, spray tans, body hair removed, the list goes on. If you want to look convincing you have to make the effort my incredibly supportive wife told me.